Joy: Missing Ingredient in Christianity

Something seems really off. One camp says we need to tone down our doctrine and love and accept everyone. The other side goes overboard with doctrinal purity. Do we really need to rail against Tinky-Winky, Harry Potter, DaVinci Code and Twilight? The non-Christian world knows more about what we're against than what we're for. We appear to be against everything. Rob Bell observed that if you have a really cool trampoline, you don't argue over the trampoline, you invite others to join it. We are doing way more arguing than inviting. I recently heard about a brand new pastor who apologized for the previous actions of the church. I think that is a start.

How do we solve this problem? Do we abandon doctrine and focus only on love? What does Jesus say we should do? In Revelations 2, Jesus confronts the church at Ephesus for forsaking their first love. He does not tell them to give up their doctrinal stand but commends them for their stand. He says to keep holding their firm stand, but return to your first love. We've lost the joy of our salvation. We need to fall in love with Christ again.

Why have we lost that joy? We are going through the motions. Like Martha, we're careful and troubled about many things. We have taken our eyes off Christ. We need to get our eyes back on Christ. We need to find joy in Christ again. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

48 comments:

  1. That made no sense at all. WTF are you talking about??? Is this the type of sermon you give? If so, good luck finding a job because that's all kinds of nonsensical.

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  3. I get what your point is, though it's muddled. I'm trying to figure out who the 'we' is in your third paragraph. It really irritates me when seminary students use terms like 'we' to describe the entire church when they're really only talking about themselves and/or a portion of the church. When preaching a sermon, saying things like 'we often think' you're inviting everyone who doesn't think in the way you describe to tune out your sermon.

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  4. Sorry, but for me it was a muddled mess. I agree with PUB about the "we" thing. Frustrating reading.

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  5. sory about the we thing. it did not need to be there. i should have said i.

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  6. Did anybody who reads this blog happen to read Emily's blog today. In her blog today she gives a picture by picture account of her boys bedroom.

    WHAT A MESS!! Not only that but the room is a fire hazzard, it is filthy dirty and she doesn't even bother to put a sheet on the mattress that is under the bed because "what the use, they're going to have accidents anyway" UGH So Bobby sleeps on PLASTIC with a blanket that most likely has been on the floor all day long. Not only do they hang wet clothing from the rafters but they hang their childrens toys too. The tiny space allows for no place to play or even THINK its such a crowded mess. Shelfs that are poorly constructed and over stocked, ugly decals that have no rhythm or reason, a crib that is painted half white and half black and then it appears that the baby sleeps on a board or box spring that is hard and icky. You know, it's one thing to be poor, but quite another to live or have your children live in such a mess. Emily never talks about real play time with the "children" instead she talks about how they help her with her chores by counting...and cooking "fun"activities --- for her maybe. She never talks about the children going outside to play or getting any fresh air at all. Instead they're cramped up in that shit hole apartment while their parents day dream and make excuses for the way they CHOOSE TO LIVE. I agree, Kids don't need much in terms of toys but they do need freshair and stimulation. INstead they're cramped up in a 450sq foot apartment while their mother blogs half the day and washing shitty diapers the other half of the day.....Dan -- what do you think about this over crowded apartment -- its is a accident waiting to happen; if a fire broke out, you be in one hell of a mess -- that place is a fire hazzard if nothing else. UGH! Pay attention to your life DAN....at least practice some form of birth control until you can get out of that apartment you're in. AND just think Emily thinks she could raise a family of 12 in that apartment. Idiot.

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  7. Dan, I would love to see you do a blog post on your life and if you agree with the way you are living. Why do you let Emily call the shots? She is starving your family and she neglects your children all day while she blogs. It is not normal to live in squalor and danger.

    What does your family think of the way you are raising your children? Do they come over to your apartment? Does Emily's family come over? Don;t you want better than this for your kids? There is help available, swallow your pride ( a sin) and get your children some food and clean blankets.

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  8. Dan, please...please help your children. As the authority figure in your home it is your responsibility to keep your children safe. Your babies are at risk of injury. The shelves that are hanging over the crib are not safe. Your sons could get hurt. Seeing little Daniel in the hospital must have been so hard...please make sure it doesn't happen again. The shelves hanging over the crib in the nursery are a danger. One of your babies could pull them down on himself, the corner of the shelf is dangerous even if it is rounded and a little head could easily get caught in the fabric and he could choke. NOTHING should be hanging over a crib. As SOON as a little boy is able to pull himself up his crib needs to be lowered. Little boys can easily climb out of their cribs or fall out on to the floor. Would you ever forgive yourself if your boys got hurt in their room? Could you live with that? Can you go to work every day and go to sleep every night knowing the boy's nursery could hurt them? Please, I don't care what you eat, whether your boys have to sleep on a bare mattress...I don't care about any of that. I care about them being safe. I just want them to be safe because little boys deserve to live in a safe home. Dan, please insist on fixing this stuff. Offer to help Emily fix these problems. You don't need to move, you don't need to spend more money - you just have to make things safe. Please.

    Amy

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  9. I have to agree with the last few noters. For people who claim to live frugal lives, I am always shocked at the amount of stuff hanging on the walls. You guys are a couple steps away from being hoarders.

    I'm interested to hear what Dan does with the kids. We never hear about any of the time he spends with them. All we've ever heard about Dan is that he goes to school and goes to work. We know he sits on the couch and writes from time to time. But we never hear about what he does with the kids. So I'll ask, what do you do with your kids? Do you play with them? Do you take them outside?

    As for Emily, Dan you're allowing your wife to create a toxic environment for you and your children. I hate to say this, but it's pretty clear that your wife has turned poverty into an idol. It's one thing to be poor, it's another thing to glorify poverty.

    And that said, you need to man up and take control of your household. Your wife has your sons living in a dangerous bedroom, one doesn't even get to sleep with a bedsheet in the middle of winter. Take control of this situation and put and end to this dangerous nonsense. Stand up to your wife, lead your family as God commands you to do. God commands a husband to lead his wife and children. You aren't leading by letting your wife have complete control and authority over the house.

    Your duty in marriage isn't limited to spiritual matters, it pretains to all things. So lead your family and put a stop to your wife's nonsense. If you do, perhaps you'll finally start getting to eat normal food again. Hot dogs, normal ham, regular drinks and regular cheese. It's up to you to take control, go forth and lead your family!

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  10. FWIW, I get this post. As a long time christian (over 30 years, raised 2 and have 1 at home), there seems to be a fine line between 'being' a witness and having the love of Christ draw people to one by living and abiding. The 'being' meaning: talk. Evangelism has its place. But, there should be a difference in the countenance of those in Him along with a true and humble love toward mankind that doesn't translate as an attack of those not in the faith. Mother Theresa comes to mind. Any and all walks of life were drawn to the love of God in her. Many lives were touched and changed by her life.

    On the other side of this is: for many christians, engaging in worldly enjoyments brings them to a snare. For some, Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter...whatever - compromises their faith in their own personal walk.

    I have family that will always hiss that my faith is nothing, whether I've walked 'separate' from the crowd (ha! holy roller!) or with (ha! no difference in you at all!). So...some will always choose to not believe.

    While many here have chosen to speak of you and or your wife in derogatory terms/concerns: I'll stick to the post.

    While I understand where you're coming from, you also have to understand the venue of where you are posting: the worldly arena. I can see and participate in some carnal enjoyments; I have to carefully and diligently guard my heart in other enjoyments. I have seen great and terrible things and I am convinced there has to be a balance.

    In your post, you don't stress the importance that for each individual, this engagement of the carnal needs careful prayer and leading of the Holy Spirit. I wouldn't dump all non-engagers of the world into any one group. That lacks wisdom.

    I will end with this: and please hear me. Your wife has upset me that I cried for your children yesterday. There's no way to convey the love of Jesus I have here that I am not being judgemental. As a christian, we are not to stumble any from the message of Christ. Dan...she does. She stumbles christians and the world and seemingly: all for a buck. I am so sorry.

    Please prayerfully consider talking/praying with your wife and with all the hysterics/stumbling she is causing. This is not 'everyone else's' problem. The love of God is important. She is causing emotional distress and she knows it.

    Be at peace.

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  11. Dan, tell me truthfully, are you happy living in that pig sty?

    Are you concerned that your children aren't safe? That lamp in your bathroom is a safety violation and could kill any of you if they fell and knocked it over. Do you want to be responsible for that?

    DO you need all those books? Are you going to be able to read each and every one every year? If not, sell them. Most will be available online.

    You work in a store where there are reasonable prices on decent furniture. You get a discount. Spend some of Emily's blog money on it.

    If there was a fire could you save your kids? I've never been accused of being Martha Stewart but your home pushes my limits.

    Have you been to other people's houses? They aren't like yours are they? They use laundromats (or have their own washers and dryers -- they aren't that expensive used) for clean clothes and don't hang stinky half clean wet clothes over their doors. They don't eat fermented salsa and gum paste noodles do they? There are so many programs available to you, like Head Start, in your town to give your kids some time with other kids.

    I literally weep when I see the pictures and read the snotty know it all attitude that Emily puts out to the world. I'm much older and I hope wiser than her and I have experienced a lot more life. Wake up and accept some help before you lose your children to neglect.

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  12. I agree with the post, and took the "we" in the broad sense of the christian church as a whole. it is said too see the church put so much energy into "anti" thising instead of proclaiming the SAVING POWER OF CHRIST'S LOVE ! and yikes on the off topic posts. I am so glad everyone knows what is best for your family, maybe I will invite them in to tell me how to run mine as well since they are so knowledgeable.

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  13. If you don't want random people telling you how to live your life, then don't start a Blog giving suggestions to others on how to live theirs.

    Seriously, Dan, you and Emily would be better off not having blogs. One of these days someone is going to just be too disgusted by the poverty of your family and they will call CPS on you.

    I'm not saying that as threat, I personally wouldn't do that, but it does happen, and frankly you two are really walking a fine line on abuse.

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  14. i have not complaned abuit coments. evryone is free to have conflicting opinions.

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  15. It looks like Emily is writing your posts again for you, Dan. Does she write your papers for that little Sunday School you go to as well?

    Y'all seriously need to take a long hard look at yourselves. You are putting your children in danger with the fermented food, lack of properly clean clothes, the clutter, the kids SLEEPING UNDERNEATH A CRIB!!! Your God tells you to protect your children, right? Then DO IT!

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  16. You didn't answer anyones questions in this post. Do you feel like your children's lives are endangered by the way you choose to live?

    There are so many unsafe things around your apartment, the bathroom, their own room, and the list goes on. Does this not concern you?

    Does your wifes prideful and ugly (towards others) attitude concern you at all?

    I think that there are many sincere people that are concerned for your family's well-being; seasoned mothers and Christians. Your wife posts intimate details of your home life on the net, of course people are going to be concerned.

    Do you have any intentions of answering the people that have asked you honest questions on this blog?

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  17. Dan,

    I had a very respectful and engaging debate with your wife today - you can read her comments. While she and I don't agree on much of anything, I felt like she and I listened to one another.

    So I write this in the same vein. I am truly worried about you. I know lazy typing. Gosh, I'm guilty of it. And I am a terrible speller. Really, I am. So I get that.

    But for months I've been reading your blog (including the posts that were deleted) and someone I know posts your Twitter comments and I've noticed a pattern of spelling and grammatical errors that exist beyond simple lazy typing and being a bad speller.

    You write very phonetically (and I'm not sure that's even spelled correctly!) - I've noticed that you write "reily" instead of "really," to mention one. There are quite a few others (but it's late and I'm exhausted). But the theme seems to be a disconnect with how things are spelled versus how they sound to you.

    Your college is doing you a disservice by not addressing this. There are programs that can help you become a more skilled communicator, both in written and by extension verbal communication. With your career goals it seems important to be able to communicate your ideas effectively. I fear that the problems I see in your writing will hamper your ability to be effective.

    I do think you have a sense of humor and I think you probably have more on the ball than your writing might indicate. Just as the people talking about your home are trying to reach out to help, so am I in posting this.

    For your future and the future of your family please consider seeking some assistance.

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  18. Dan, I think your readers would like to know what your opinion is of your lifestyle. Clearly many of us have objections or concerns. We all know what Emily's opinion is but we would really like to know what yours is.

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  19. Publius, he is waiting for Emily to tell him what his opinion is and for her to type it up. I'm sure she, I mean he will answer soon.

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  20. Dan, grow a pair. Seriously. You allow your children to live this way. You are contributing to the problem. How does that make you feel? You are not doing your job as a parent if you don't protect your children! Grow up. You & Emily are terrible parents. It's child abuse & neglect. You both disgust me. WTF is your post even about? You write like a little child would. Stop going to your basement "church" college & go enroll yourself in some adult classes & learn how to write & spell properly. While you're at it, enroll both you & Emily in some parenting classes. Get some government help & care for your family. Get off your high horses & step up.

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  21. The title of your blog is incorrect. It should be Dan's Incomprehensible Mess.

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  22. What a bunch of crap. Emily isn't going to change that bedroom the boys sleep in because she thinks shes right; she thinks that her kids won't get hurt because shes a perfect Mother and knows best. That particular blog was written with revenue in mind, make no mistake about that. She posted pictures of that shit hole she calls the "boys room" before and was meant with the exact same concerns and ideas on how to make it a better place. Did she do anything to improve the space? Hell NO, she in fact didn't even bother to put a sheet or blanket on the mattress under the bed, because I don't know, it would take too much time and effort on her part?? Emily was looking for controversy when she invitied you in to that bedroom; when instead, she should be looking at how to make the bedroom less of a fire hazzard and perhaps a little more attractive. At least paint the crib ONE Color, Emily. Use some of that money you made blogging and buy a can of either black or white paint. Whats up with that? Are you that lazy or perhaps the boys don't care -- its obvious neither you or Dan care.

    She doesn't even bother to put a sheet on her son's MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR and yet she can't understand why anyone would be concerned at all....yeah right, Emily. She has shitty diapers and her kids toys hanging from the rafters and she can't understand why anyone would be concerned about that either....yeah right, Emily. She posts pictures of her filty house and the conditions in which she chooses to raise two toddlers and an infant and expects people to sit back and applaud her efforts because ....well because shes so poor and yet she can make it work. Just pay attention to Emily she'll show you how its all done. Happily of course. She talks about the intelligent conversations her and Dan have about politics, religion, and Star Wars and yet DAN can't even write a simple sentence. Hell, Dan doesn't even know what Dan is trying to say, let alone anybody else....except Emily. Emily knows because Emily knows EVERYTHING. She's special that way.

    PUB you're right on the money when you say that Emily likes being poor. It's what makes her tic.

    Emily is a martyr and a know it all. And she is'nt very likable either. Religion is her mask and that is where you'll find her hiding.

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  23. Emily is a martyr and a know it all. And she is'nt very likable either. Religion is her mask and that is where you'll find her hiding.

    Emily sounds like another fundie whack job I know. She does the same thing. This lady hides behind her religion big time.

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  24. woa i got to cach my breath. there are alot of post. i do dictate most blog post school work, sunday shcool etc. i only do outlines for surmons. i dont fully wirte them out word for word. i dont feel that she is engering my kids.
    gizmola i dont disagre with most of what you said. i have always felt that i can work aorund the disablities. i wil consider what you have said. i have not answered all of your qestrones. i wil try to answer more.

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  25. Dan, if you do one thing to help your kids, for the love of God get that lamp out of your bathroom before someone is electrocuted.

    As far as your children being endangered, take a deep breath when you look in that room and tell yourself it's okay.

    It's fine with me if you want to eat the glop she serves, but wouldn't a Hebrew National Hot Dog be good once in a while?

    To each his own. Dan there are places you can get help with your writing and spelling. Take advantage of them. You pay taxes to support adult learning, use the resources.

    Get your kids into head start. Give them a break from that tiny little apartment. IT's free! I remember when President Johnson signed it into being in 1965, it was designed for families like yours, with limited resources.

    I wish you peace.

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  26. is this a spoof? can't believe Dan is really this poor at spelling? Are they having a laugh?

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  27. Dan, here's a correct version of your last comment. Please consider speaking to one of your professors at college; perhaps he/she can get you some help. That's what college is for, after all.

    ----
    woa i got to cach my breath. there are alot of post. i do dictate most blog post school work, sunday shcool etc. i only do outlines for surmons. i dont fully wirte them out word for word. i dont feel that she is engering my kids.
    gizmola i dont disagre with most of what you said. i have always felt that i can work aorund the disablities. i wil consider what you have said. i have not answered all of your qestrones. i wil try to answer more.


    Corrected version:

    Whoa, I've got to catch my breath. There are a lot of posts. I do dictate most blog posts, school work, Sunday school etc. I only do outlines for sermons; I don't fully write them out word for word. I don't feel that she is endangering my kids.

    Gizmola, I don't disagree with most of what you said. I have always felt that I can work around the disabilities. I will consider what you have said. I have not answered all of your questions. I will try to answer more.

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  28. By the way Dan, CPS is this:

    http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/ocfs/cw/

    Same job, different name.

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  29. i know its dhs. i just said that to see what the reaction would be !

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  30. i know its dhs. i just said that to see what the reaction would be !

    Huh? That's real nice Dan.

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  31. yea it was not my finest hour i wil admit it.

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  32. I wish you all would stop mocking Dan's spelling. As a mom of a child with very very severe learning disabilities, I am very offended. my son tries very hard and still at age 13 he can not spell his last name. this is with tutors and an LD class and much help from his family. We are putting him in a special school for kids with LD next year hoping that it will help. Dispite his LD he is very very bright and has an above normal IQ.

    Anyway, I agree with you all regarding the room, I don't know how you can sleep in a nice warm bed with sheets in a real bedroom when you child who just got out of a coma has to sleep under the crib on cold plastic. Emily has said that she keeps the heat quite low in your apartment, he must be freezing! I would never ever as a parent sleep comfortably with three children crammed in that space you call a bedroom. If you are a man at all you will switch rooms!!

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  33. Just a note bene:

    DHS: Department of Homeland Security----the idiots that brought you the TSA

    DHHS: Department of Health and Human Services for the State of Maine.-- Child welfare.

    Huge, I mean huge difference.

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  34. Dan I are you going to take control of what is happening in your home or do I need to make a call to DHHS with your real names to report you. People are not going to continue to look the other way while you guys put your children's lives in danger. Your wifes posting your boys death trap was the last straw for me and many others!

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  35. Julie,

    I honestly wasn't trying to make fun. I admit I first mocked Dan but I realized, after reading him for awhile, that there was something more than just being sloppy, etc. Hence I tried to write something that was supportive and encouraging rather than mocking. I'm pleased that he seemed to take it to heart in the spirit I wrote it. Heck, anyone can be a sloppy typer or a bad speller - I'm often both. I just wanted Dan to seek some help for the future of his family and not feel that there was something wrong with him or anything shameful in asking for help.

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  36. Thanks Gizmola, it is not just you though mocking the spelling, I have seen it on fj and other places from other posters, and I guess I am oversensitive because I have to deal with people thinking that my son is stupid when he is not at all. A learning disability is that..a disability and not something one has control over and really shouldn't be something people make fun of.
    Anyway thanks for respionding.

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  37. Emilys post today was a hoot.

    Emily is in charge of the food they consume, she's in charge of how is is cooked and how much they spend on food monthly.

    Emily is in charge of where they live, how much they can afford in rent; she found the apartment they're renting today and Dan was OK with it.

    Emily is charge of researching which cars they will purchase and what insurance company they will go with.

    Emily is basically in charge of two toddlers and an infant all day all while she cooks, cleans, BLOGS, answers questions and comments bloggers leave, she deals with advertisement, and all blog content.

    Emily decides if Dan can have snack food and what kind and then she makes it when she finds the time -- which doens't happen cause she so busy. The toddlers eat what is avaiable for snack even if it is homemade Ketchup.

    Emily is in charge of the money that come into their household; she is in charge of gift ideas and what gift will be given and when.

    Emily has a set of warm sheets on her bed because they keep the heat in their apartment down to save money. Meanwhile, back in the boys junk room Daniel is reduced to sleeping on a plastic mattress which he may or may not wet during the night. The mattress is underneath the crib because Daniel thinks its a cave and because Emily and Dan are too cheap to buy appropriate BUNK BEDS or sheets. Not a doubt in my mind that Daniel ends up sleeping on the floor many more nights than he sleeps on that plastic mattress because toddlers are notorious rollers and movers when they
    sleep.

    Dan decides if the family can have a Xmas Tree or not. WOW Big decision making going on there. Wonder how long he pondered that NO XMAS tree idea before he put his foot down and said NO NO NO. AND Emily being Emily wrote a blog about being not having and XMAS tree and being a submissive martyr....ophs I mean wife.


    Submissive Emily? ---hhmmm that doesn't ring true.

    Sounds to me like Dan might be the submissive one in that household, he just hasn't figured it out yet and Emily ain't telling him. LOL LOL LOL

    Dan go to wal-mart and buy yourself a twelve pack of COKE and a big bag of cheetos, go home, and share it with your kids. After all, you're the one in CONTROL.....What is Submissive Emily gonna say if you do something that...horrible?? I bet she'd throw a big fat hissy fit and give you one million and one reasons WHY you can't have COKE and CHEETOS....and how you're killing your kids feeding them COKE and CHEETOS.

    Dan it's time to put your big boy pants, take a look around and realize that you're the submissive one, not Emily.

    Question of the day? How many people can Emily raise in a 450sqft apartment that is full of JUNK?
    Emily says the magic number is 12 -- easily.

    What do you think?? Better yet -- what does her landlord think??

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  38. Dan Walmart has that free to store pick up if I purchase some mountain dew(I know emily wont allow you to have it) and some goodies for your kids will you pick them up if I buy them?

    I personally don't drink Mountain Dew but you know what a snack and goodies is not a bad thing. We eat very healthy in our home but sometimes it feels good to just eat a little junk and you know what it doesn't hurt anyone.

    You really need to take control Dan of your family. Emily's pride is getting in the way of what is best for your family. I don't think I need to preach to you that pride is dangerous and sinful. I do believe that you know your scriptures.

    Also please look into your local community college you could take a basic reading/english class there that could help you. They would be FREE because of the grants you could get. There is also the Stanford loans if you needed them for extra living expenses. You would get approximently 16-17k a year if you took advantage of all the grants and federals loans availabe that ANYONE qualifys for. If you didn't want the loans you still could get around 8-9k.

    Improving your reading/writing will not only help you but your family don't let Emily tell you its not important!

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  39. Dan, how does it make you feel when your wife writes about how she hopes you forget to ask for snack foods? Don't you think her attitude is disrespectful? You obviously want some snack foods and instead of providing them for you your wife simply hopes you'll forget about it. That's disrespectful in the extreme.

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  40. snack foods are not good for me. i am fine with it! i may gripe but it not a big deal.

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  41. "snack foods are not good for me."

    Living in a disaster zone isn't good either. When was the last time your sheets and blankets were really washed and dried? With hot water? Why are there medicine bottles on your headboard within reaching distance of your children? Please don't insult my intelligence and tell me that kids can't open those bottles. I've raised my children and I know better. Just like children can get out of cribs in a heartbeat.

    Are you honestly telling us that you don't care that your food is parceled out to you like a child and you don't have any say at all in your life? C'mon Dan. Take 5$ and get a Mt Dew and some Doritos at work and live a little. Heck, get a Slim Jim and live a little.



    Have you taken down that light in your bathroom?

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  42. There is a picture of you and daniel sleeping in your bed and there are medicine bottles above your head. Emily posted it a while ago. Along with lots of mugs and radios and stuff all within a child's reach.

    And what about that bathroom light? Have you told your landlord that the outlet is broken? Safety code says you need a grounded circuit in the bathroom.

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  43. Julie,

    Oh, I don't deny I wrote some scathing parodies and was terribly mocking...at first. I admit I wrote a parody today - but in this one Dan wasn't portrayed as an idiot but as a guy who just needed some assistance and then was able to stand up to Emily, who is slowly starving her family.

    I'm totally Team Dan now. He has a sense of humor, he's open minded, he is humble and, most of all, he's caught in a bad situation with a woman who is pretty much a total wackadoodle. I say that we all join in to free Dan and the kiddos so they can find a home with clean sheets on all the bedding, good, fresh food and a box of Twinkies now and then.

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  44. I'm so happy you are standing up for your boys and making some changes! That's really great Dan :)

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  45. Great post. I was raised A/G and the "doctrinal purists" are what drove me away from the church and eventually from Christianity itself. I don't think Christ would recognize what's become of his teachings.

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